[Note: I wrote this several weeks ago but totally forgot about it, and I reread it and kinda liked it so here it is.]
1. Stumble upon a completely bizarre movie trailer on Youtube. Find out that it's not a fake trailer and in fact an actual movie about a man who shaves off his mustache.
2. Discover that movie is playing on Netflix instant play thanks to a heads up from a friend. Well now I HAVE to watch it. Obligated, practically.
3. Lazy Sunday afternoon: start movie. Man shaves off mustache within first ten minutes. What then could the next 86 minutes possibly be about?
4. Attempt to online window shop while movie plays in the background but realize my French is not as good as I thought and I can't understand anything without reading the subtitles. Cease online shopping. Man digs through trash to find mustache bits and shows them to his horrifed wife to prove he actually had a mustache. I don't blame her for being grossed out, that's pretty unsanitary. But I guess she got over it because...
5. Obligatory sex scene. It's French, after all.
6. Go downstairs for some snacks. Wife buys man the ugliest green speckled blazer ever committed to celluloid (...or does she?). Note: I tried to find a still of the guy wearing the jacket but couldn't, since apparently I'm one of maybe 12 people on earth to have actually seen this movie.
7. Last twenty minutes. Thinking I probably should have quit a half hour ago but I've gotten this far, I might as well finish it. Man runs away from France to avoid being sent to a psychiatric institution by his wife.
8. Recommence online shopping.
9. SPOILER ALERT (if you care, but I'm thinking you don't; in fact I'd be surprised if you made it this far down the page): Man has somehow ended up in rural China (I may have missed something here), taking a ferry back and forth across a river. His wife mysteriously shows up in his seedy hotel room and mentions nothing about the mustache incident. He, of course, grows a mustache. She likes it. La fin.
You know, thanks to years of indoctrination, I have a high tolerance for bizarre French things, but that's definitely 90 minutes of my life I'm never getting back.
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3 comments:
Haha hey, maybe there's a deep deep message and years later you'll realize those were actually the most enlightening 90 minutes of your life. =P
haha. you just wasted 2 mins of my life. thanks mee ko. i know i will never get it back.
HAHAHAHA this made my night. the french are so weird.
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